Harmony Rising

It has been 4 months since I retook the eHarmony 'average disposition' section. January showed a marked improvement, and the positive trend is still going strong as of May. Excellent. I am inches away from submitting it--but there are a few more obstacles in the way. Scroll to the bottom of the post to find out what--and on your way, check out the gentle upward slope of my psyche:

"Please use the scale below to rate how often during the past month you have felt the following ways."

On a scale of 1-7 where 1= rarely 4= occasionally 7= almost always

1.Happy [2][4] [6]
2.Sad [7][5] [2]
3.Anxious [7][3] [2]
4.Confident [1][5] [5]
5.Hopeful [3][5] [5]
6.Fearful about the future [7][6] [2]
7.Angry [4][4] [2]
8.Calm [1][5] [5]
9.Fortunate [1][4] [5]
10.Out of control [6][4] [2]
11.Fulfilled [2][4] [5]
12.Depressed [7][4] [2]
13.Energetic [1][4] [5]
14.Tired [7][4] [3]
15.Successful [1][4] [5]
16.Unable to cope [7][4] [2]
17.Satisfied [1][4] [4]
18.Misunderstood [3][3] [1]
19.Safe [1][4] [5]
20.Plotted against [1][1] [1]

I've decided that I will actually, really and truly finish the eHarmony sign-up process and wade into the murky depths of "semi-self-guided internet matchmaking". And I will, of course, be blogging about my thoughts and reactions here at Mouse vs World.


But more on that later--first, let's get into the obstacles I mentioned earlier.


I have a small list of things I feel I need to achieve before adding the 'eligible' prefix to my bachelorette status. 


1.[ ]get a better cellphone provider
2.[ ]get driver's lisence
3.[ ]create a more comfortable and organized living space
4.[ ]re-establish a solid connection with my hobbies


Right now, my cellphone only works when I happen to be in town--which creates a certain sense of disconnection--though it is admittedly a small thing, and will be the first off the list, I'm sure.


The driver's license is more important, because it symbolizes self-reliance. It would feel too much like high school, getting dropped off for a date night by my roommate.


Getting my things out of boxes and onto shelves, etc--organization is even more important. My living space really does affect my mental space. I am cluttered, and all over the place, and a large portion of me has spent the last 4 years tucked away, waiting. 


I will never be 'neat and tidy'--I will always have a tendency to lump things into piles and there will always be a junk drawer or three--but I want to be comfortable inviting someone else in, both in terms of living spaces and emotional spaces. 


Above all else, though, I want to reconnect with my hobbies. Art, and books, and music playlists--those things were a core aspect of my life once, and they still are--only I halfway abandoned them somewhere along the line. It makes me half a person, or really, three-quarters of a person now [I've been improving a lot].


I feel like I should be giving as much as I expect to get--I want to find a reliable, stable and creative person who's really starting to come into themselves. Someone who, like me, is beginning to solidify.